Save me!!

So your flights have always been oh-so-boring. The same old movies being played on the mini screen, your much abused playlist buzzing on your headphones, an occasional announcement jolting you out from your already disturbed sleep; at the most your eyes will catch for a fleeting moment the gaze of that pretty girl sitting across the aisle—that’s all there is to your flight.

But if you are on Little Red, Virgin Atlantic’s domestic airline for the United Kingdom, the last thing you’d worry about is being bored. Branson has decided to introduce live entertainment on board! There will be stand-up comedians entertaining passengers. The comedy shows will run through August on flights to Edinburgh and Manchester. It’s the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, the world’s largest arts festival, in August, and professional comedians attending the festival will try their hand at the unwitting passengers first.

Hello, this is your comedian speaking.

And in September, when the comedians have had their fill, music will be heard on Red LIVE flights. Musicians will play acoustic music in the aisles. That’s a cheap deal. You get to attend a comedy and a music show at 30,000 miles above the earth, and not even pay for it. That’s Branson for you.

The reactions are mixed. There are some who feel it’s a forced thing on passengers who wish to spend some peaceful moments on their flight. Now you cannot gag a man crooning live in front of you. You can technically, but not without compromising the protocols of decency.

Don’t say: “I want to sleep.”

Do say: Actually, keep mum. Just flash a constipated smile every time the comedian looks at you. You will have nowhere to go if he starts taking your case.